Stalking is a Bigger Deal Than You Think. Let’s Talk About it.
Many people forget that The Spring serves victims of stalking. Here’s why that service is so vital.
Kedrick Nettleton, Community Engagement Manager
Did you know that there are actually four unique demographics that we serve here at The Spring? Many know that we exist to provide services to victims of domestic violence and human trafficking. But there are two other populations we stand ready to help, and we outline them in our mission statement:
The Spring provides safe spaces, relationships, and ongoing Christ-like advocacy for those affected by domestic violence, human trafficking, sexual assault, and stalking.
Many people forget about that last word, even though stalking is far more wide-spread than you may think, impacting nearly *1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men at some point in their lifetimes. We can even make light of the word — think about how many times you’ve talked about “Facebook stalking” someone that you’re curious about.
Most people simply don’t realize what stalking is or how dangerous it can be.
Given that, we thought that this month’s blog would be a great place to unpack some of this information and learn more about the facts of stalking. Read on for some quick information and links to dive in deeper.
Stalking is a pattern of behavior that makes someone fearful for their safety.
SPARC (The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center) defines stalking as “a pattern of behavior, directed at a specific person, that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or the safety of others — or to suffer substantial emotional distress.”
These patterns can take many forms. We often think of physical proximity — following someone, showing up frequently at their place of work or home, or waiting for them in places they often go to — but the internet has created new ways to stalk someone. Calling or texting someone repeatedly, making unwanted social media contact, posting information about someone online, and other forms of virtual harassment have become common practice.
Stalking typically focuses on one individual, but the behavior can also extend to people that they know. Stalkers will often contact family, friends, or coworkers as part of their pattern of interference. About half of stalking cases involve intimate partner situations. Most people are stalked by someone that they know.
The word to remember is pattern: two or more unwanted events that lead to fear of safety.
It takes care and nuance to identify stalking cases.
By themselves, many of the behaviors that can make up stalking are not frightening, much less illegal. What is frightening to one person may not be frightening to another, and stalking behaviors can seem innocuous to those outside of the situation. The victim can find it difficult to explain why they feel afraid at some of the behaviors they’re experiencing.
Our friends at SPARC provide the following example:
Imagine you receive a bouquet of roses at your house one day. That’s not frightening on its own — in fact, it can be quite romantic. But if the roses are from an ex-boyfriend with whom things ended badly, you’ve moved houses since breaking up, and you didn’t even know that this man knew where you lived, those roses become something sinister.
It's vitally important to start from a place of believing the victim. If someone feels afraid for their safety, they have a reason to. Ask questions, seek understanding, and consider how you would feel if you were experiencing the behaviors described.
Victims of stalking lack resources.
Despite the prevalence of stalking mentioned above, there are shockingly few resources offered to victims. There is no national stalking hotline, and there are few if any crisis centers solely dedicated to assisting victims of stalking. Oftentimes, aid falls to organizations that began by serving survivors of domestic violence, like The Spring.
Because of this lack of resources, victims often struggle to take action — they might not even know what action they could take if they wanted to. Less than 40% of victims report their stalking to the police.
We all have a part to play in helping to end stalking.
Self-education is key, as with most of the topics that we write about here on the blog. Knowing what resources are available in your community — and donating to support those resources — is also a valuable step. Even the language that we use can play a part in creating communities free from this form of abuse: cut stalking from your vocabulary as a casual word, and reserve it only for cases where someone is truly fearing for their safety.
When you support The Spring, you’re helping fund hope for victims of stalking. We provide safe shelter, legal advocacy, and community resources, creating a next step for survivors.
We understand that the issues involved in any discussion about stalking are complex and varied, and this blog barely scratches the surface. If this is an issue that rouses your heart to action, we encourage you to take steps to learn more. Click the button below to view an introductory training provided by SPARC. It’s a good place to start as you seek to dive deeper into this topic.
*Much of the information in this blog comes from our friends at SPARC. They provide education and resources about stalking, and you can find their website here.
If you or someone you know needs help escaping domestic and sexual violence, human trafficking, or stalking, please dial 911 or call our 24/7 hotline at 918-245-4075. You can also consider joining the fight against abuse in Oklahoma by donating or exploring volunteer opportunities.