Intimate Partner Trafficking is Happening in Oklahoma. Here’s What it Looks Like.
The cases we’re seeing aren’t what people expect.
Kedrick Nettleton, Community Engagement Manager
“People can’t take action if they don’t know about the problem.”
For a few years now, we at The Spring have used this phrase when pitching our community trainings. It’s true, too — the first step in inspiring anyone to action is through education. But one of the interesting things our team has found is that many of the people we interact with don’t have a lack of knowledge about the work we do. They have the wrong information, and that’s especially true of our work to create communities free from human trafficking.
Perhaps they’re thinking of a film like Taken, or picturing white vans rumbling down peaceful suburban streets and abducting people in broad daylight. They’ve heard of the “zip tie myth” — the idea that traffickers are somehow “marking” potential victims by placing zip ties on car doors or house doors. Maybe they’re convinced that the reason Oklahoma has a problem with human trafficking is due to the intersections of I-35, I-40, and I-44.
The reality of trafficking here in Oklahoma is much different. During our work with law enforcement, the majority of cases we’re seeing here in Tulsa contain elements of familial trafficking or intimate partner trafficking. As hard as it can be to believe, most victims have close relationships with their traffickers, and some don’t even realize that they’re being trafficked.
While we’ve written before about some of the common myths in the field of human trafficking, we thought it would be helpful this month to focus on the more personal dynamics at play. What does it look like when trafficking is present in a personal relationship? How are the victims being made vulnerable? And most importantly, what’s being done in Oklahoma to bring survivors out of these situations and traffickers to justice?
Grooming
Put very simply, traffickers are very intentional in manipulating the feelings of their victims. There’s a heightened process meant to invoke romantic feelings — excessive and flattering attention, showering the victim with gifts, and generally making the victim feel like they’re the absolute center of the trafficker’s life. These acts are all parts of what’s often called the “grooming phase.” Those in the field of human trafficking recovery even have a term for these kinds of traffickers and their tactics: “Lover boys” and “Romeos.”
It’s important to remember that during the grooming phase, traffickers are looking for cracks in their victim's armor—seeking vulnerabilities through which they can exercise control later on during the relationship.
Exploitation
Oftentimes, the exploitation phase begins slowly, with the trafficker very carefully testing the waters. A victim will be asked to do something — have sex or perform sex acts for money, either in-person or online — because it will “help” the relationship. A trafficker might insist that the extra money will help the pair get through difficult financial times. He might say it’s a one-time thing, a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency situation.
Due to the real romantic feelings that the trafficker has made sure to cultivate during the grooming phase, victims sometimes feel like they aren’t being manipulated at all. They might feel like they’re deciding on their own. It’s not uncommon for our field response team to meet trafficking victims who aren’t even aware that they’re being trafficked.
Control
Once the relationship has moved into this stage, traffickers become desperate to maintain the control that they have over their victims. They work hard to isolate them from friends, family, and support systems, fostering a sense of dependence on the trafficker. They might also begin to exercise other forms of control — economic, threats, or even physical violence. During this phase, they don’t abandon the romantic attachment that they cultivated during the grooming phase. In fact, they often use those feelings to create a kind of cycle: violence and coercion interspersed with the kind of “loving” behavior that they showed earlier.
All of this can be incredibly disorienting for a victim, and it makes it very difficult for them to make a choice to leave — even if they acknowledge the situation they're in and can do so physically.
How to Help
We say it often because we believe: education is the first step. Seek out information about trafficking and share it with friends and family. When you see some of the common misconceptions about trafficking, put forth the reality. And be sure to know what resources are available to victims — shelters and resource centers like The Spring, hotlines to call, and even financial assistance programs.
The Spring is honored to be on the frontlines of the fight to end trafficking, working directly with law enforcement to provide advocacy for victims during operations. Our advocates sit one-on-one with these victims, talking them through their situation and recommending services. Most often, we engage first through our Non-Residential Services program, and we’ve seen a huge increase in clients accepting help over the past few years.
You can make a difference in this work by donating, volunteering, or helping us spread the word about the work that we’re doing. It takes all of us, and we’re grateful for your support.